This is something that nearly every couple says to me when they enquire: “we just don’t know what we’re doing with the ceremony.”
Honestly, that’s an extremely common place to be.
Most people have some idea of how the rest of a wedding works. You might have been to receptions, you’ve heard speeches, you know what a first dance typically looks like. Even if you’ve never planned one, it all feels familiar enough.
The ceremony is different.
It’s not usually something people see up close. For the most part, you experience it as a guest, not as the people at the centre of it. Then suddenly you’re being asked to create something that feels meaningful, personal and representative to both of you.
So instead of starting with ideas and creativity, start with understanding.
What a ceremony actually consists of
At its core, a ceremony is a series of key moments:
- An entrance
- A welcome that settles the room
- Your stories
- Readings and / or other enhancements if you choose them
- Your vows (legal and personal)
- Signing the paperwork (if it’s a legal wedding)
- A closing and your exit
That’s the typical structure. Nothing more complicated than that! Within those sections, comes opportunities to tweak things and add your own flair.
Where couples often get stuck
Surprisingly, it’s usually not a lack of ideas. It’s too many!
- You start Googling and suddenly everything feels possible and necessary
- You feel pressure to make it extremely different
- You’re not sure what actually matters and what doesn’t
That’s when it starts to feel a little overwhelming.
A better way to approach it
Instead of trying to create something completely from scratch:
- Understand the flow first
- Decide what actually matters to you
- Keep some parts simple
- Let the meaning come from how it feels, not how much is included
You don’t need to fill every space, you just need to stay true to yourself.
Where I come in
As a celebrant, my role is to guide you through this in a way that feels manageable by:
- Breaking things down clearly
- Asking the right questions and providing samples to guide you where relevant
- Helping you make decisions without second guessing
You’re not expected to have this figured out and it’s not a test!
You just need someone to walk you through it and help you shape something that feels like you.
If and when you’re ready to do that, I’m here to chat. Just get in touch.
Lots of love,
Rev. Arlene x
